The Ugly Truth and Beyond

(approximate reading time 5-10mins)

A belated Happy Thanksgiving to all!

I hope that your holiday is filled with community, love, healing and abundance.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving celebration that was simple and sweet: only myself, my sweetheart, my new friend/housemate and her daughter, an afternoon movie (Justice League!) and later, “breaking bread” together, but only very light cooking on our parts (thank you, “Evolution Fast Food”, for our vegan meal!).  

Done!  Lovely!

Sitting down to eat with my friends, I was overcome with gratitude, and we toasted our appreciation of each other and the beautiful day we were experiencing together.  But something was moving in the shadows of my awareness, and I couldn’t ignore it.

Here I was engaging with others in a tradition that has come to be about sharing with a community of loved ones the prosperity, abundance and blessings that are experienced-symbolized by plentiful dishes of food and drink-and in the midst of my appreciation and joy, something was bothering me and didn’t quite sit well in the moment.

I couldn’t help but think about the genocide of the Native Americans. 

Yes, I’m going there.

In honor of the sign Scorpio, I have to talk about the ugly truth on which this holiday is built.

It’s very Scorpionic to look at these uncomfortable truths within ourselves at an individual and collective level.  It is during the Scorpio times that we have extra support for doing the “dirty-work” of confronting our shadows, our wounds, our unconsciousness and healing.

And as a collective, we have never healed from the genocide of the Native Americans.  All of that remains in shadow.

But I think all of the wounds and pain from this (and many other collective wounds from other events in our history), the beginning of our country, are beginning to rise to the surface of our consciousness for confrontation, healing and ultimate transformation.

So, there I was celebrating with friends, but I felt like crying because the Native American pain and wounding is my wounding.  It is all of our wounding.

If we are all celebrating with gratitude, then we must bring into awareness the ugly truth that we are celebrating the Native Americans’ great sacrifice so that we could have this country called America.

And in some twisted way, in that moment with friends, I felt like offering up a solemn “thank you” to my Native American brothers and sisters, those long gone and those still with us.

And of course, I hope the awareness doesn’t stop there but expands further and further into ancestral, collective and individual healing in this web of planetary consciousness we all share.

I know we don’t want to think about this during Thanksgiving.  I know it is uncomfortable. 

It’s also uncomfortable for all of the women and men who are courageously coming forward and revealing the ugly truths of sexual harassment and misconduct forced on them in their pasts.  I’m sure it is just as uncomfortable for them as it is for the perpetrators of the sexual abuse who are being outed.

All of these ugly truths are being brought up from the depths and into the light of day. 

This is Scorpio’s function.

I suppose we would all be paralyzed with bitterness and depression, if we only did the digging up of the shadow material but never healed it.  But if we respond well to Scorpio’s process, then we begin the healing process, and we eventually move on to Sagittarius’ processes.

Whereas Scorpio focuses a great deal of its energy on the truths buried in the shadows of the unconscious (and not all of these truths are ugly!), the truths that we don’t want to face, Sagittarius explores many more of those truths that help to lift us further out of our pain and wounding-universal truths.

At its best, the quest of Sagittarius is all about the ever-expanding journey of updating truths and ultimately coming to know those universal truths about our existence that would serve to anchor our joy, inspiration and hope for the future of our species.

Now, with Venus and Jupiter in Scorpio and the Sun, Mercury and Saturn in Sagittarius, we are attempting to integrate these two psychic functions and evolutionary processes.  

Let’s get down into the muck of those ugly truths and do that Scorpionic work of making the unconscious conscious and healing, but let’s not stop there.  Let’s continue on in our evolutionary journey into the exalted truths of life and existence that our Sagittarius natures can help us to know and integrate into our ever-spiraling journey of expansion.

One of these truths is that in spite of the ugliness we have done and continue to do as individuals and as a collective, there is beauty alongside it. 

There is far more beauty.

And there is far more love than we have ever been capable of comprehending.

We are growing and becoming more aware.

We are brothers and sisters, all, in this ancient, collective evolutionary process.

I am hopeful that we are more ready than ever for some of these more loving and beautiful truths to dawn in our hearts.

How It All Began: My Introduction to The Michael Teachings (Part II)

(approx reading time 10-15mins)

With the introduction of The Michael Teachings, I began my free-fall down yet another rabbit-hole of self-awareness.

Michael claims to be a group of soul “fragments” that have reunited into one, unified group consciousness.  Every fragment from that “entity” (Michael terminology for spiritual family) has completed its round of incarnations on the physical plane.  Now, the entity of soul fragments exists on and teaches from the causal plane (about one plane removed from the physical plane: physical, astral, causal, *akashic, mental, messianic, buddhic).

This is some far-out stuff, huh?

If all of what Michael says about themselves is true, then I’m literally studying with thousands of dead people!

As “out-there” as this possibility seemed to me at the time I was first introduced to the teachings (and still does from time-to-time), this was not what stood out to me the most.

What stood out to me the most about Michael and their teaching and what really got my attention was their unconditional understanding and compassion for my human experience.

As I began to read as much of their channeled material as possible and work with them in my own private sessions, I was struck by the fact that they never made me or their other students wrong, never scolded, never shamed, never became impatient with us.  On the one hand, they could be extremely direct and blunt with their information and perspective (which could be very unflattering for the ego!) and yet come across as only kind, caring and compassionate in their motivation and intention.

My very first in-person channeling session with Michael was in the context of a group session.  Most of the other people there knew each other, already, but I didn’t know a soul (pun intended!).  The channel (Troy of TruthLoveEnergy) asked Michael to speak about a general topic that might benefit the group and then allowed each person to ask Michael a personal question.

When my turn came to ask Michael a question, I wanted to know about a specific man whom I had been getting to know on an intimate level.  The conversation went something like this:

“Hi, Michael.”

“Hello, Nicholas.”

“I have been dating this guy for a few weeks, and we have a very intense connection.  We’re both attracted to each other, and we both want to be together, but he is pushing me away.  He is HIV positive, and this adds complications to our getting to know each other.  But I have assured him that we can figure it out together, and that I am not put-off by his status.  I just want to know what is going on with him and why he is so resistant?”

“First-off, we would ask you – why are you not asking him this question?

I tried to hide my embarrassment from the group and responded with,

“Well, I know I can talk to him about this, but I am wondering if there is anything going on that he is not telling me?”

“From what we can see, there is nothing more going on here than what you already know.  He is afraid.”

And that was that.  There may have been a bit more said, but I can’t remember at this point.  What I do remember is that in that moment I learned an important lesson about relationships and communication that I took with me and applied across the board in my life.

Still, my start with these teachings was tentative in many ways, as I had been prone to gullibility in the past and was at a place in my own personal evolution where I was beginning to doubt and question ideas and the sources of those ideas.

Also, because Michael’s delivery of their teaching was not flowery or gushing with emotion, I was suspicious.  I had been used to other new age-y sources that were full of feeling, sentiment and “personality.”  At first, I was a bit taken aback by this lack of feeling and all of the “heady” intellectual terminology and concepts.  I wondered if there was any practical merit to the teachings, or were they just a means for navel gazing and intellectual masturbation.

My second interaction with Michael helped me to shift this initial reaction to their content and style of teaching.  This interaction was also in a group format, but via an internet chat room. 

If you are not familiar with Michael’s delivery and terminology, you may want to go slowly and even reread this excerpt several times:

 

 
~ Channeled by Troy Tolley of TruthLoveEnergy

 

This conversation with Michael had a subtle yet powerful impact on me.  Here was a teacher that didn’t try to convince me of anything but left plenty of room for me to grapple with the information and come to some understanding and perspective on my own.

I believe this blog has already grown lengthy, and I hope I didn’t lose any of you reading!

But if you just read that, then you are still with me.  Great!

I will wrap it up, then, and leave you with a summary of what to me are some of the most important core ideas that Michael encourages us to explore, if we feel so inclined:

*We are essence/spirit/consciousness at our core.
*We chose to incarnate, to have this physical plane experience.
*Reincarnation is valid.
*Essence/soul makes the choices that setup a lifetime, but once born and after the first breath, personality has complete “control” over the lifetime through its choices.
*Essence does not impose or interfere with a lifetime unless personality consciously or unconsciously invites it to “help” and/or participate in the lifetime.
*Choice is our most powerful tool.
*All choices are valid.
*No lifetime is wasted; every choice evolves the soul, even if only very slowly.
*Karma is valid.
*Karma is intensity and imbalance that is created when we interfere with our own or others’ choices.
*Karma serves to propel evolution forward, as the soul seeks to balance the karma and balance all karma before “cycling off” the physical plane
*As the soul gains experience through its personalities, it evolves in soul age perspective and progressively “remembers itself.”
*Essence has a design that remains the same throughout all of its physical plane cycle and beyond, but personality is designed differently for each lifetime

*The point of a lifetime is to be physical and experience the physical plane.

And finally, one sentence that sums up Michael’s entire teaching:

*We are here to learn how to choose and to choose how to learn.*

~

In the next few posts, I will talk about Michael’s overleaf system: a kind of soul and personality map for understanding our own and others’ being, expression and behavior.  I’ll do this from the very personal angle of sharing my own essence and personality profile that I received from Michael and discussing its very profound impact on me.